revised

content/portfolio/fivedofarm/index.md

@@ -19,24 +19,23 @@ First, a video (0:45 for the arm):
 ## Design
 ### Previous Design
 ![Old Arm](arm2-old-arm.jpg) \
-This design was based very heavily on my team's previous robotic arm, pictured above. However, we wanted to make the structure more rigid and lightweight. And, we needed a new end effector, since the previous one had failed to grip things linearly.
+My design was based heavily on my team's previous robotic arm, pictured above. However, we wanted to make the structure more rigid and lightweight. We also needed a new end effector, since the previous one failed to grip objects linearly.
 
 ### Structure
-I decided to reconstruct the frame out of Garolite composite fiberglass while making a box-like structure instead of the standoffs we had used before. This is what it looked like:
+I decided to reconstruct the frame out of Garolite composite fiberglass to save weight. I also incorporated a box structure instead of the standoffs we used before, increasing rigidity.
 ![Arm Cross Section](arm2-forearm-cross-section.jpg)
 
 ### End Effector and Wrist
-The previous year's arm had used a worm gear end effector, but because of gear wear and tear, it no longer pinched objects at the fingertips (similar to a worn out pair of pliers). To avoid this, I designed a brand new lead-screw driven end effector. 
+The previous arm used a worm gear end effector, but because of the worn gears, it no longer pinched objects at the fingertips, similar to a worn out pair of pliers. To prevent this, I designed a new lead-screw-driven end effector. 
 ![End Effector Design](arm2-end-effector-design.jpg)
-Also, the previous year's "wrist" was very complicated with tons of different gears, so I decided to redesign it with a simple and brand new wrist.
+The previous year's "wrist" was also very complicated with tons of different gears, so I redesigned a simpler new wrist with far fewer components.
 ![Wrist](arm2-wrist.jpg)
 
 ## Manufacturing
-This project was my first exposure to such a saturated level of manufacturing. I manufactured almost all of the components on this arm using a CNC router, 3D printers, and other machines like bandsaws and drill presses. Here are a few images of the process:
-![Arm Plates](arm2-plates.JPG)
-![Arm Plates3](arm2-plates3.JPG)
-![Arm Plates4](arm2-plates4.jpg)
-![Arm L Brackets](arm2-l-brackets.jpg)
+This project was my first exposure to such a saturated level of manufacturing. I manufactured almost all of the components on this arm using a CNC router, 3D printers, and other machines like bandsaws and drill presses. Here are a few images:
+![Arm Plates](arm2-plates.JPG) \
+![Arm Plates3](arm2-plates3.JPG) \
+![Arm Plates4](arm2-plates4.jpg) ![Arm L Brackets](arm2-l-brackets.jpg)
 ![End Effector](arm2-end-effector-first.jpg)
 ![Forearm](arm2-forearm.jpg)
 ![Arm First Build](arm2-first-build.jpg)
@@ -47,9 +46,9 @@ Here are some videos:
 {{< video src="arm2-gear-series.mp4" controls="yes" >}}
 
 ## Competition
-After our Systems Acceptance Review, we were admitted to the final competition in Utah! In this competition there were two missions: the Extreme Retrieval Mission, a long-range task requiring object retrieval of large objects, and the Equipment Servicing Mission, a short-range but very precise and dexterous task.
+After our Systems Acceptance Review, we were admitted to the final competition in Utah. In this competition, there were two missions using the arm: the Extreme Retrieval Mission, a long-range task requiring retrieval of large objects, and the Equipment Servicing Mission, a short-range but very precise task.
 
-Here's a nice glory picture from the Extreme Retrieval Mission (unfortunately, our drive train got stuck on a rock. But we had better luck next year!)
+Here is a picture from the Extreme Retrieval Mission (unfortunately, our drive train got stuck on a rock. But we had better luck next year!)
 ![Extreme Retrieval](arm2-extreme-retrieval.jpg)
 
 Here are some images from the Equipment Servicing Mission (13th place!):

content/portfolio/frcarm/index.md

@@ -9,35 +9,35 @@ tags:
 image:
   caption: 'FRC 2023 Telescoping Arm'
 ---
-In high school, I was part of an award winning [FIRST Robotics Competition](https://www.firstinspires.org/robotics/frc) team. [Team 3476: Code Orange](https://www.teamcodeorange.com/). In the 2023 season, I designed a belt-driven telescoping "arm" that could extend up to 19 inches in 0.5 seconds.
+In high school, I was part of an award winning [FIRST Robotics Competition](https://www.firstinspires.org/robotics/frc) team, [Team 3476: Code Orange](https://www.teamcodeorange.com/). In the 2023 season, I designed a belt-driven telescoping "arm" that could extend up to 19 inches in 0.5 seconds.
 
 Here is our reveal video:
 
 {{< youtube CvMuQAEPYbs >}}
 
 ## Prototyping
-Each season starts with prototyping, and I experimented with lots of different mechanisms for this telescope. One of them used a constant force spring for extension:
+Each season starts with prototyping, so I experimented with lots of different mechanisms for this telescope. One of them used a constant force spring for extension:
 {{< video src="arm3-prototype.mp4" controls="yes" >}}
-We eventually decided against this design because although it is fast, it only allows the telescope to be fully extended or fully retracted, with no in-between positions. We required that the system have precise extension, extend and retract in less than a second, and be lightweight.
+We eventually decided against this design because although fast, it only allows full extension or retraction, with no intermediate positions. We required the system to have precise extension, extend and retract in less than a second, and be lightweight.
 
 ## Design
-After debating on constant force springs, lead screws, and pneumatic cylinders, I decided on a belt-drive design. With this, I had to figure the very complex geometry for this robot. Let's just say, given the constraints of the robot size and the desired extension, I really learned how to make good sketches.
+After debating on constant force springs, lead screws, and pneumatic cylinders, I decided on a belt-driven design. With this, I had to figure the very complex geometry for this robot. Given the constraints of the robot size and the desired extension, I really learned how to make nice, detailed sketches.
 ![Arm Sketch](arm3-sketch.jpg)
 
-Some other highlights of this design include the see-through pocketing (which took me almost 5 straight hours one night!)
+Some other highlights of this design include the see-through pocketing, which took me almost 5 straight hours one night.
 ![Pocketing](arm3-pocketing.jpg)
 And a fish, for fun!
 ![Fish](arm3-fish.jpg)
 
 ## Manufacturing
 I directed the manufacturing of this arm, making all the drawings for parts, giving them to the manufacturing team, and keeping track of a manufacturing list. Here are some photos of the process:
 ![3D Printed Parts](arm3-printed-parts.jpg)
-![Drawing](arm3-drawing.jpg)
+<!--![Drawing](arm3-drawing.jpg)-->
 ![Arm on Robot](arm3-on-robot.jpg)
 ![Final Build](arm3-final-build.jpg)
 ![Final Robot](arm3-final-on-robot.jpg)
 
 ## Competition - Pit Crew!
-At competition, I was selected to be on the 6-man pit crew because of my dedication and expertise in robot design. My experience there was intense, to say the least. When the robot came back all broken from a match, we would have a few minutes to fix it up before the next match. Stress was intense, communication was key, and time was always running out. Through this experience, I learned how to analyze and check mechanisms very quickly, work very effectively with my pit crew mates, and how to screw a bolt in fast! That 2023 Season, Code Orange made it to the Einstein Field, where the top 24 teams out of thousands in the world compete for the top spot.
+At competition, I was selected to be on the 6-man pit crew because of my dedication and expertise in robot design. My pit crew experience was intense. When the robot came back  broken from a match, the pit crew often had mere minutes to repair it before the next match. Stress was intense, communication was key, and time was always running out. Through this experience, I learned how to analyze mechanisms quickly, work effectively with my pit crew mates, and screw a bolt in at lightning speed. That 2023 Season, Code Orange made it to the Einstein Field, where the top 24 teams out of thousands worldwide compete for the top spot.
 
 ![Full Robot](arm3-full-robot.jpg)

content/portfolio/frchopper/index.md

@@ -9,30 +9,30 @@ tags:
 image:
   caption: 'FRC 2022 Hopper'
 ---
-This was my first time touching SolidWorks! In high school, I was part of an award winning [FIRST Robotics Competition](https://www.firstinspires.org/robotics/frc) team. [Team 3476: Code Orange](https://www.teamcodeorange.com/). In the 2022 season, I designed a "hopper" that delivered balls from the bottom of the robot to a shooter at the top using polycord.
+This was my first time touching SolidWorks! In high school, I was part of an award winning [FIRST Robotics Competition](https://www.firstinspires.org/robotics/frc) team, [Team 3476: Code Orange](https://www.teamcodeorange.com/). In the 2022 season, I designed a "hopper" that delivered balls from the bottom of the robot to a shooter at the top using polycord.
 
 Here's our reveal video from that year:
 {{< youtube sENzTtd2u-4 >}}
 
 ## Prototyping
-After determining a basic robot concept and napkin sketch for the hopper, we prototyed the hopper. Here's one low-res image I found in the depths:
+After determining a basic robot concept and napkin sketch for the hopper, we prototyed the hopper. Here's an image I found buried within the team Slack:
 ![Prototype](hop-prototype.jpg)
 
 ## Design
-Everything I learned from prototyping, including travel distance, travel speed, ideal compression, and design concept, I took into the design phase. This was my first time using SolidWorks, so I spent probably hundreds of hours crunching this out in the first few weeks of the build season. Nevertheless, it was tons of fun.
+Everything I learned from prototyping, including travel distance, travel speed, ideal compression, and design concept, I carried into the design phase. This was my first time using SolidWorks, so I spent hundreds of hours crunching out the design in the first few weeks of the build season. Nevertheless, it was tons of fun.
 
-This layout sketch helped me to map out the system.
+This layout sketch helped me map out the hopper.
 ![Layout Sketch](hopper-sketch.jpg)
 
-Central to the design were these polycarbonate rollers with polyurethane cords that acted as belts to drive all the rollers in the system. They were held in place by rubber tubing.
+Central to the design were polycarbonate rollers with polyurethane cords that acted as belts to drive all the rollers in the system. They were held in place by rubber tubing.
 ![Rollers](hop-rollers.jpg)
 
 I also experimented with making an exploded view for my design:
 ![Exploded View](hop-exploded.png)
 
 ## Manufacturing
-In the manufacturing phase, I kept track of a parts tracker and learned how to make drawings for the manufacturing team. Once all the parts had been fabricated, I led the assembly for the subsystem!
-![Drawing](hop-drawing.jpg)
+During the manufacturing phase, I managed a parts tracker and learned how to make drawings for the manufacturing team. Once all the parts had been fabricated, I led the assembly for the subsystem!
+<!--![Drawing](hop-drawing.jpg)-->
 We had the side plates outsourced for waterjetting.
 ![Waterjet Plates](hop-waterjet.jpg)
 Here are a few pictures of the beginning of the assembly:
@@ -45,16 +45,16 @@ And a video of it working!
 {{< video src="hop-function.mp4" controls="yes" >}}
 
 ## Competition
-After our first regional competition (which we won!), we had a problem: balls were flying out of the hopper when we didn't want them to. And sometimes, we would intake the wrong color ball (there are two colors of balls on the field, and you're only supposed to shoot one color). The problem (and solution!) is pictured below:
+After our first regional competition (which we won!), we had a problem: balls were flying out of the hopper when we didn't want them to. And sometimes, we would intake the wrong color ball (there are two colors of balls on the field, and we were only supposed to shoot one color). The problem is pictured below:
 ![Eject Concept](hop-eject-concept2.jpg)
 
-So, we had to revise the design so that we could eject balls we didn't want, and make sure we were holding on to the ones we did want. This is what we came up with:
+I revised the design so that we could eject balls we didn't want, and make sure we were holding on to the ones we did want. This is what I came up with:
 ![Eject Design](hop-eject-mechanism.png)
 ![Eject Build](hop-eject-build.jpg)
 
-And here is it working!
+And here it is working!
 {{< video src="hop-eject.mp4" controls="yes" >}}
 
-With this, we went on to win our next regional, advancing to the world championship and placing high in our division.
+With this and many other improvements, we won our next regional, advancing to the world championship and placing high in our division.
 
 ![Full Robot](hop-full-robot.jpg)