Congratulations on your new position in the Human Resources Department! We are reasonably excited to work with you!
Below is the Recruit Assessment Worksheet, which will outline the procedures and regulations to follow during your employment. Please note that you are not eligible for health coverage until you have been employed for 90 days. Try not to get mauled to death by a gorilla!
No, seriously. Stay away from the West Garage.
Analyze the traits of your prospective recruit according to the subsections below. The Resistance has graded each of these traits with a Point Inference Value (PIV) that will help assess the Applicant's aptitude.
N.b.: Generally, "+" trait classifications are not available to applicants and must be designated through the course of their tenure in the Resistance. They are still listed here in order to project Upgrade Machine costs.
Some sections have additional Compliance Chip settings. If you think the applicant might need some extra guidance (they're a scumbag), notify the IT team and they'll ensure the chip is fully configured before you jam it into the applicant's skull.
One of the best things in an applicant is how much loot they can score. Uh, don't tell people that.
| Trait | PIV | Effects |
|---|---|---|
| Bomb Smuggler | ||
| Drug Smuggler | ||
| Loadout Smuggler | ||
| Supply Smuggler | 7 | - Each level contains a Crate with some items from your character loadout. |
We hate to say it, but KILL KILL KILL! Combat skills are essential for most recruits not clever enough to think of other ways of doing things.
Per new regulations: If the applicant's hands are glowing, do not shake their hand. Do an elbow-bump or something. You don't want a demon in your hands, I missed a whole week of work that way.
| Trait | PIV | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Cursed Fist | 3 | - Unarmed attacks can hit Ghosts - Unarmed damage to all Mundane agents increased by 25% |
| Cursed Fist + | 5 | - Unarmed & Melee attacks can hit Ghosts - Unarmed & Melee damage to all Mundane agents increased by 50% - Applies Unlucky status effect to non-Supernatural agents |
| Spectral Palm | 3 | - Unarmed attacks can hit Ghosts - Unarmed damage to all Supernatural agents increased by 50% |
| Spectral Palm + | 5 | - Unarmed & Melee attacks can hit Ghosts - Unarmed & Melee damage to all Supernatural agents increased by 100% |
Even if the applicant is a fucking idiot, they're probably going to have preferences about what they do for the Resistance. And believe me, if they're signing up you can be sure about one of those things.
Not everyone wants to be paid the same way. I even heard they pay people in gum.
| Trait | PIV | Quest XP | Quest Rewards |
|---|---|---|---|
| Double-Ply Rewards | 5 | 100 % | - Free Item & Hiring Vouchers |
| Monkey Rewards | 3 | 100 % | - Bananas |
| Smoke Up, Johnny! | 3 | 100 % | - Cigarettes |
| Supply Drops | 10 | 100 % | - Loadout Items |
Assess leadership qualities and assign work accordingly.
| Trait | PIV | Quests per level |
|---|---|---|
| Rushin' Revolution | 16 | 0 |
| Workaholic | 5 | 4 |
| Trait | PIV | Effects |
|---|---|---|
| Rust Buster | 3 | - Tool use degradation reduced by 1/3 |
| Rust Buster + | 5 | - Tool use degradation reduced by 2/3 |
Use your Resistance-issued calipers to assess the applicant's retardedities. There's no minimum IQ to join, it's just fun to do!
| Trait | PIV | XP Gain Rate |
|---|---|---|
| Brainiac | 24 | 300 % |
| Calculating | 12 | 200 % |
| Dim Bulb | - 8 | 75 % |
| Moron the Merrier | - 16 | 50 % |
| Numskulled | - 24 | 25 % |
| Smooth-Brained | - 32 | 0 % |
An applicant's handling of their money and other assets will be a good clue to their reliability. You can quickly assess an applicant's poverty by counting the flies buzzing above their head.
| Trait | PIV | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Light Packer | - 6 | - Agent loses all but 5 items after each level. |
| Liquidator | 5 | - Agent sells 20% of their inventory after each level. |
| Liduidator + | 10 | - Agent sells 40% of their inventory after each level, for an improved price. |
| Luggage Loser | - 16 | - Agent loses their entire inventory after each level. |
| Lock & Loadout | 12 | - Agent receives another Item Loadout after each level. |
| Spendthrift | - 4 | - Agent buys 1-3 items after each level. - Shortfall is added to Debt. |
| Spendthrift + | 8 | - Agent buys 2-4 items after each level, for an improved price. - Shortfall is added to Debt. |
| Trait | PIV | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Index Funder | 3 | - Agent's money accrues from 3% to 8% interest after each level. |
| Lifestyle Creeper | - 10 | - Agent loses 50% of their money in after each level. |
| Pocket Changer | - 4 | - Agent loses $100 after each level. - Shortfall is added to Debt. |
| Venture Capitalist | 7 | - Agent's money accrues from -100% to 100% interest after each level. |
| Wastrel | - 16 | - Agent loses all their money after each level. |
It's important to acknowledge that not everyone is normal or smart. Everyone is different, and that's mostly bad and stupid.
| Trait | PIV | Effects |
|---|---|---|
| Conscientious | - 6 | - Agent is subject to XP maluses for wronging the innocent. |
| Pyrokinetic Learning Style | 3 | - Agent gets bonus XP for burning things. |
Some applicants need an extra motivator to learn properly, like the prospect of their head exploding.
| Mutator | Notes |
|---|---|
| Alarm Avoider | - Agent explodes if they set off an alarm. |
| Conscience Configurator | - Agent is subject to XP maluses for killing and stealing from innocents. |
| Diligence Detector | - Agent explodes if they fail their Big Quest. |
| Discovery Disincentivizer | - Agent explodes if they anger a quest chunk NPC. |
| Retaliation Reducer | - Agent explodes if they neutralize a quest chunk NPC. |
In the Resistance, we don't believe in luck! We believe in preparation. So prepare by assessing the recruit's luck with a few games of craps.
| Trait | PIV | Luck Bonus |
|---|---|---|
| Charmed | 3 | 5 % |
| Charmed + | 5 | 10 % |
| Cursed | - 1 | - 25 % |
Wish I had one of those! Ha ha. Mondays, am I right? Sometimes I think about Garfield sexually.
| Trait | PIV | Effects |
|---|---|---|
| Combative | - 6 | - 1% chance for an NPC to start out Hostile - 19% chance for an NPC to start out Annoyed |
| Combative + | - 16 | - 5% chance for an NPC to start out Hostile - 95% chance for an NPC to start out Annoyed |
| Polarizing | 1 | - 50/50 chance for an NPC to start out Annoyed or Friendly |
| Polarizing + | 5 | - 20% Hostile - 30% Annoyed - 30% Friendly - 16% Loyal - 4% Aligned |
The section below modifies bullets from normal guns. If any of these apply, please check box 213f, "Agent is Extra-Shooty."
| Trait | PIV | Damage | Distance | Penetration | Speed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dum-Dum Bum | 4 | + 15 % | - 25 % | - 10 % | - 10 % |
| Dum-Dum Bum + | 8 | + 30 % | - 50 % | - 20 % | - 20 % |
| Powder Packer | 4 | - 10 % | + 20 % | + 50 % | + 10 % |
| Powder Packer + | 8 | - 15 % | + 40 % | + 100 % | + 20 % |
Is your applicant a big dumb asshole without any friends? Maybe you are? These are all questions you need to ask yourself.
CL = Current Level
| Trait | PIV | Roaming Agents | Number | Relationship |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Guild Network | 5 | Thief | 3 | Friendly |
| Guild Network + | 10 | Thief | 3 | Loyal |
| Hacker Network | 5 | Hacker | 3 | Friendly |
| Hacker Network + | 10 | Hacker | 3 | Loyal |
| Haunted | - 6 | Ghost | CL | Hostile |
| Hitlisted | - 6 | Assassin | CL > 5 | Hostile |
| Loansharked | - 8 | Mobster | (CL > 5) * 1.5 | Hostile |
| Mook Masher | - 8 | Goon | CL * 2 | Hostile |
| Most Wanted | - 12 | Cop, Supercop | CL * 2 | Hostile |
| Reinforced | 5 | Resistance Ldr. | CL / 2 | Aligned |
| Reinforced + | 10 | Resistance Ldr. | CL / 2 | Aligned |
| Return to Eneme | - 10 | Gorilla | CL * 2 | Hostile |
| Robait | - 10 | Killer Robot | 1 | Hostile |
| Robotnip | - 16 | Killer Robot | 3 | Hostile |
| Trait | PIV | Follower Agents | Number |
|---|---|---|---|
| Backed by the Blue | 12 | Cop | 1 |
| Backed by the Blue + | 20 | Supercop | 1 |
| Friend of Monke | 10 | Gorilla | 1 |
| Friend of Monke + | 16 | Gorilla | 2 |
| Gooned Up | 7 | Goon | 1 |
| Gooned Up + | 10 | Supergoon | 1 |
| Mobbed Up | 10 | Mobster | 1 |
| Mobbed Up + | 16 | Mobster | 2 |
| Rollin' Deep | 7 | Crepe | 1 |
| Rollin' Deep + | 12 | Crepe | 2 |
| Thicker Than Water | 7 | Blahd | 1 |
| Thicker Than Water + | 12 | Blahd | 2 |
What the fuck do you want from me?! I'm so tired.
| Trait | PIV | Effects |
|---|---|---|
| Boozer Schmoozer | 5 | - Gain XP for drinking booze. - Give booze to Neutral NPCs to make them Friendly. |
| Burning Aspirations | 5 | - Gain XP for smoking. - Give cigarettes to Neutral NPCs to make them Friendly. |
When issuing equipment to an applicant, please take note of their personal restrictions and preferences. If they check any of the following boxes, note that the applicant is gonna be a real pain in the ass to deal with.
| Trait | PIV | Effects |
|---|---|---|
| Afraid of Loud Noises | - 4 | - Can't use Loud |
| Carnivore | - 1 | - Can't use Vegetarian |
| DAREdevil | - 3 | - Can't use Drugs |
| Draw No Blood | - 5 | - Can't use Piercing |
| Fat Head | - 1 | - Can't use Headgear |
| Friend of Bill | - 1 | - Can't use Alcohol |
| Surgical Striker | - 3 | - Can't use Blunt |
| Sweaty Fingers | - 3 | - Can't use Melee |
| Teetotaller | - 4 | - Can't use Alcohol or Drugs |
| Vegetarian | - 1 | - Can't use Non-Vegetarian |
| Weak Wrists | - 4 | - Can't use Heavy |
Use the following lists when filling out equipment allocations:
| Trait | PIV | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Myopic | - 6 | - Visual range reduced |
| Myopic + | - 12 | - Visual range greatly reduced |